They Just Keep Getting Stranger...

4pm, Target:

"Excuse me, I've been trying to muster up the courage to come talk to you."

Ooh muster! I like that word, good start. And whoa. FACE. dang. I haven't seen anyone this handsome in...years? A little preppy for my taste, but dark hair, green eyes, super symmetrically cut masculine-pretty features...well done on the design of this one God (or surgeon??), I really appreciate the craftsmanship! Girls can be shallow too, so ok, let's small talk. I'm a bit self conscious because I'm in sweats and he's prettier than me, but it's okay because hotstuff's a little boring so far. New York, finance, etc.

"Do you wanna hang out sometime?"

"Um, maybe. I can take your business card or something?"

"I don't have it on me. And I don't want to have a business meeting with you, I wanna go for a drink. I can take your number."

Weirdly aggressive tone. Welp, time to test out my new "no numbers to strangers" rule!

"Ohh...hmm...I kind of hate texting right now. How about I give you my email address and we can go from there?"

"What? No, I'm from New York, we do things fast. I'll take your number. That's it."

"Why don't you give me your number."

"No. I'll take yours."

"Um...that's not very flexible!"

Handsome is getting increasingly flustered and worked up...

"Well, NO. I mean WHERE else are you gonna meet a guy who's this good looking, rich, and...look, I'll only take your number."

Um, dude this is Target. So I'm guessing I can meet a better guy at Costco where at least membership is required? And hold up...did you just call yourself good looking and rich? And couldn't think of a third adjective? Aww– that's adorably unattractive.

"Right, well I don't really like giving my number to strangers."

"I'll take your number. Final Offer."

"Yeah...I don't think so."


Prince Uncharming turns and stomps off double time. I'm not quite sure what just happened, but I think I just witnessed a mantrum, a handsome guy hissy fit. I'm left standing in between aisles laughing to myself. Whew! Sooo happy my digits didn't fall out of my mouth at first sight, otherwise I never would've gotten to witness pretty turn to ugly so fast. Fascinating stuff!