I figured I might as well follow my own prompt and reveal some of my irrational fears.
As a child, my imagination always ran wild. On the plus side, I could entertain myself for an entire day just by imagining I was a mermaid. On the not so plus, my head was always swimming with dark outcomes: Toilet? Death trap. Snacks at kindergarten? Poisoned. Relatives who wanted to hold me? Kidnappers.
As an adult of course I can see things more rationally, but there are still some completely irrational fears that have slipped through the cracks. I'll share just a couple, so you don't think I'm toooo too crazy:
I kind of hate the radio and the same five songs that are always on. However, I do love singing (badly and loudly) in the privacy of my car. To make pop's unbearably redundant playlist more entertaining, I spend my drives fake harmonizing, blurting out random words when unsure of lyrics, and singing songs as written by cats.
My irrational fear here is that while I’m mid “Meow what you wanna meowww, let the meows falllll outttt!!!” my cell phone is busy calling my clients, and they’re just sitting there on the other end of the line, confused and horrified. I worry about this so much that I have to check my phone every couple verses to make sure that this is not indeed happening. And then I get nervous about being pulled over for texting. And explaining to the officer what I was actually doing. All kinds of bad!
Murder, She Wrote
I don't actually know what this show was about. Did she write murders that came true? Or was she just a writer who solved crimes? In any case, I like the title. And, I always think I'm going to be murdered.
This is a ridiculous fear I've carried with me for a long time, probably because I watched too many episodes of Dateline with my mom. During college I lived in a safe, cute house with a storage area in the basement. But I never wanted to go down there alone, because I was convinced that if I did, someone was going to cut my head off and throw it up the stairs. I don’t know why, it just seemed like the most likely outcome. Whatever situation I'm in, my mind just starts creating strange and complicated murder scenarios.
A couple weeks ago, I had to park somewhere not so safe for work. I figured that while I was at my meeting, someone would probably break into my car and cut the brakes without my knowledge, or plant some kind of explosive that would go off just as I was getting into "Type of Meow" by Rich Homie Cat.
So before getting out of my car, I took this "goodbye world" selfie in memoriam:
I'm happy to say it did not happen that day. But every day is filled with fresh new chances to be murdered! So if this is the last that you see of me guys, just remember that I loved you. And that I had incredibly stupid irrational fears.
Be safe out there.