Casual Encounters of the Third Kind

A few weeks ago a skinny Chinese guy in the ¡goldest! ¡sparkliest! shirt I've ever seen asked me if I wanted to smoke as I was leaving a cafe. Naaahh, that's okay.

Some people (ahem, sisters) have told me that I'm too cold to strangers though, so yesterday when sparklygoldshirt sat next to me at the same cafe I was a little bit nicer. His new outfit was a multilayered pajama type deal, so how could I resist?

It turned out to be one of the strangest stranger encounters I've ever had. Sparkles said he was 21 and taking a "long long break from school". My initial reaction was to say "ah, to figure out what you really want to study?" to which I got a very blank stare. So I asked him what he does, and he said "My friends sent me this website called Reddit." 


He sat next to me for a couple hours as I did work, and every time he said something I had the eeriest feeling that an alien was trying to communicate with me. 

At one point he said he was thinking of volunteering to help some disabled kids. 

"That's great, do you like kids?"

"They're too loud. I am thinking about it though to help me with my fear of disappointment...some of my friends say I should have 12 kids. Some of them told me I should remove my penis."

At some point during our precious time together, he began calling me his mentor, and said he hoped that someday we could be "more than mentors." Like what? "Like married." 

And that is why I don't talk to strangers.